By Oreoritse Tariemi
28 March 2022 |
Babies are cute, and families are amazing but are either of them necessary. One thing every adult can relate to is the pressure often from parents to find a partner and start a family. Sometimes, this pressure might not be direct, but it could also spurn from finding out that other people in your age…
Babies are cute, and families are amazing but are either of them necessary.
One thing every adult can relate to is the pressure often from parents to find a partner and start a family. Sometimes, this pressure might not be direct, but it could also spurn from finding out that other people in your age group are settled and raising families.
But what many people do not seem to consider is the amount of work that goes into planning a family, and some people jump into this stage of life unprepared.
So, before leaping into parenthood and starting a family, here are five essential questions you and your partner need to answer.
- How strong is your relationship?
Figuring out the dynamics of your relationship is a great first step to figuring out whether or not you’re ready for children.
It’s also vital to understand the extra pressure your relationship would undergo if the answer to having kids is yes. The first few years of raising a child are always the toughest, and many marriages/relationships do not always succeed past this early period. So rather than amplify your relationships problems by having kids, try fixing your relationship first.
Figure out what each partner wants. Are you both ready for kids? How many children do you want? Are there issues within your relationship? How would these issues affect your relationship if kids were added to the mix?
- Where do you stand financially?
The cost of raising children goes up every year, and children are undoubtedly expensive.
Financially there’s so much to worry about, from medical fees to purchasing baby items, food before thinking of their education fees and much more.
Many times during/post-pregnancy, moms might need to put work on pause, which means the partner becomes the sole provider.
So, you both have to figure something out, can your family survive on one salary at least for the first year? Would you need to make any sacrifices? And how do you adjust your budget to fit.
- What happens to your career?
While being specifically for the mom, this question should be answered by both parties. As we mentioned earlier, having a child would bring some changes to your career.
Some companies have proper maternity and paternity plans while others do not; you’ll need to figure out where your company falls in.
If you’re willing to take some time off work? And if you can afford to take some time off work?
- Are you mentally and emotionally ready?
Many new parents fail to realise how much of a toll childbirth takes on their mental and emotional health.
Before bringing a new life into the world, it makes sense to identify your life now and resolve any issues/trauma you might have first. Unresolved issues may affect your ability to be a great parent.
So be kind to yourself, find professional help and take all the time you need.
After having the child, what happens next?
Do you need to move houses to a better school location? Do you need to move closer to family to make raising your kids much easier? And what do you plan to do after the cries of your child fill the hospital room for the first time?
Children are agreeably a blessing, and a planned blessing never hurts anyone. The answers to these questions would give you some ideas on what directions things should take and where your relationship stands on building a family.